A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt

Modern Scottish Proverbs

By Stuart McLean

A wonderful book of modern Scottish proverbs that will delight your wit and tickle your humour. Inspired by the wisdom of Scotland, written by Stuart McLean and published by Crombie Jardine. Available from your local book shop or, online, from Amazon.

Extracts from A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two up Your Kilt.

Bagpipes

Bagpipes - an octopus wearing a kilt.

The bagpipes are the best way to terrorise the neighbours without the inconvenience of getting an ASBO.

There’s nae difference between a bagpipe and an onion, except nobody cries when they chop up a bagpipe.

The bagpipes and a squealing pig have much in common – the difference is that the pig has a purpose.

Give the piper a penny to play and two pence to bugger off.

If you want a woman who can give a great blow-job choose one that plays the bagpipes.

If the bagpipe doesn’t kill you with its tentacles it will kill you with its screech.

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Copyright : Stuart McLean - 2007 - No part of this website may be used without permission